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Friday, July 29, 2005

As i type this post, i am filled with alot of emotions... In fact i am over flowing with them... I feel sad, angry, frustrated,lost,lonely and despair... All this feelings came because of one person... Samuel lye- A sec 1 josephian who is in track and field... The following story is kind of long but pls bear with it if u really want to understand who i really am...

U all must be wondering how i can be feeling sad... Let me give u a example before telling u my whole story about him... What if one day your best friend who is now someone you treat as a enemy tells your good friend this... "Do u noe the exact reason why i befriended kenneth, it was because of the advantages he give me like treating cab home and buying me macdonald"... Just this line alone will pissed all of u all... I dun feel angry, i just felt very disappointed in him... Because all the while i treated him like a brother, but it seems i made a mistake...


The story started about 4 to 5 months ago... Back then Zhuo min introduced me to Samuel lye and when i met him i felt a sudden bonding... As though he was fated to be my friend... So i was determine to treat him the best i could...

First of all, he needed a bag... i gave him a bag from a collection that i had... I even attached to it my one and only favourite bear... Now thinking about it, i find it a waste...

Secondly... He had troubles studying... So i sat down with him to give him extra tuition and guidance in his work... He also wasn't doing very well in track and field... So i gave him training too...

Thinking that he treated me as his best friend i treated him like a bro... Every training, as long as i was with him i would take cab and send him home... If he was hungry, i offered to buy him food and drink... Even though i didn't have enough money, he would come as a piority...

Whenever he quarreled with him parents, i would be there to solve his anguish... When he had trouble with his BGR i actually spoke to his gf and ask her not to give up on him... Suddenly, i found my life revolving around him... My friends were now all his friends... Every friday and sunday i would have soccer with his father and his church mates...

To me because i never felt how is it like to have a best friend before, i did everything i could... Unfortunately, it was the wrong thing to do... Everything happen just like a thunder storm... One day, James Cheong told me u noe someone in sji doesn't want to see u, u better not come... At that time me and him was not on good terms, so i didn't take it seriously...

Out of nowhere, Joshua Wong told me u noe that sameul told james that he thinks u are gay because u come go to his house every other day and he dun understand why... The part he didn't understand was that his siblings who are also my friends were having mid year exams... so i decided to give them last minute tuition for the next 5 days...

When i confronted Sameul, he ran away from the problem... He said he never said anything... I asked him because i dun want to spoil our relationship... I said if u have anything to say, say it in front of me if we are friends and dun stab me from the back... After 2 weeks of getting pissed with him, he told me that he said it unintentionally and was sorry about everything... I told him do u still want to be my friend... He gave me a resounding yes... I forgave him that day... But three days later, i regretted that decision...

Three days later, when i was still feeling a bit sad over the incident where he insulted my friendship with the word gay, he came out of nowhere and told me he doesn't want to be my friend anymore... I felt that that was the last straw and this type of friends are not worth making... I was angry, what was the point of making me forgive u for u to spoil it again... From then on we were like enemies...

Well that was 2 months ago, why i decided to write about this is because Joshua Wong told me tonight... Samuel told Joshua:
" Why doesn't Kenneth have poly friends?"
" Why Kenneth always come to play with sec1?"
" Why does Kenneth always talk to u Joshua?"
" Does Kenneth still call u often?"
" U WANT TO KNOW THE EXACT REASON WHY I PRETEND TO BECOME KENNETH FRIEND, IT IS BECAUSE OF THE ADVANTAGES HE GIVE ME WHEN I AM HIS FRIEND... EXAMPLE - FREE TAXI RIDES AND THE FOOD HE BUYS FOR ME FROM MACDONALD"

I was shocked after all this... I felt very sad... How can someone say... "The only reason why i really became your friend is because of the advantages u gave me"... And he told my good friend not to be my friend and bad mouth me...
WANG GUAN AND JOSHUA LIM DUN STOOP TO SAMUEL LEVEL...

U know something just becoz i tot he was my best friend, i gave him my life. He was the drive of my life and my life revolved around him... And he took all of that away, as and when he likes it... How the hell would u feel if u gave so much for your friend and all u get in the end is your friend forsaking u and betraying u...

When someone say "eh kenneth u are such a loser, u are gay because all your friends are your junior... U have only lower sec friends or friends younger den u... U come back to SJI because u have no poly friend... And u noe the stupid thing, i never ask u to be my friend it was u who forced yourself upon me... U noe what u were so stupid to believe that u were actually good friends with me... And the only reason why u are my friend is becoz of the free cab and free food u give to me plus all the other thing u help me do... How the hell i feel... And what makes it three times worst, he doesn't even dare to say it to me... He says it to my good friend asking him not to befriend me and stay far far away from him...


So end the end of the story, should i hate him or should i love him for giving me the lesson... What should i do? I will tell him straight in the face.. Is that why people befriend u? to be your slave or servant some thing u can take advantage of... I am suprised anyone would even one to be your friend... Maybe becoz they dunno the ugly side of u... Den i would walk away galantly and forget about someone who is so hypocritical... I realized that the moment u hate someone, u are no better than the person who has done it to u... I forgave him becoz i had conscience... But i realized it is only for people who has dignity... For those people who are friends of samuel, i can only advice u to be careful for all u noe he will do the same thing to u... Even a innocent Joshua Wong can tell me that samuel is a very bad friend...

Quote of this post "Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile." I will learn from it and move on... Becoz feeling sad over this will only make him happier... I would think that it was his loss for losing a friend like me and a gain for me for losing a lousy friend... Oh yar, i would write a review tomorrow about the movie stealth tha i just watch... Till then, I put my faith and trust in god...

`angel watching over|1:23 AM